Total Eclipse Season of the Mercury in Retrograde Heart
Lessons in Mentorship, Boundaries, and Giving the Fuck Up
April showers of non-stop work means May flowers of rest and relaxation for my birthday month? That’s not how the saying goes? I’m hoping I can will it into being true because only a week in and I’ve gone not just cross Los Angeles Country and back but also up to Sacramento and back.
I still love my job most days. this week I witnessed an incredible show of solidarity among a large group day laborers raising their collective demands against a big box chain hardware/construction supply store and demand the city step in. This meeting in the middle of the street, in the middle of Hollywood is the Los Angeles that most people don’t know about.
I had lunch with a newish fellow Executive Director and told her how normal it was to cry but also how we had to be aware about how our moods would be read and co-opted by others or used against us. I cried everyday for the first two years of my ED life. I just celebrated my 9 year anniversary and I only cry every other day now (kidding-maybe).
I had a whack ass meeting in the state capital. Like why waste everyone’s time to tell us that there were no updates? It could have been an emailed or better yet the political office could just have ignored the meeting request- it would have saved money, some greenhouse gas emissions and time.
The bullshit ass meeting reminded me of something in my romantic relationships - men - be they politicians or the ones in your bed - will lie to you and string your ass along as long as you let them. You give them one chance - with clear boundaries if they cross a line again- and then you got hold that boundary or else you’re just a sucker.
And right now I’m feeling like a sucker with some of the policy work I’m doing and with my home partnership.
So here’s the thing - on the last full moon I asked for it all to be revealed - what the hell I was dealing with and what I needed to let go of and the universe gave me all the signs and signals and flashing lights and waving red flags.
So the work this month - and yes I have gone full woo wooey LA here - is just recognizing all the shit I need to fix - let go of so that after the eclipse and when Mercury looks like its going to the right rhythm again I can get another year closer to 50 and another year closer to peace.
What I’m reading : Is This Dissertation Research or a First, Our Date?,
What I’m watching : I watched the new Ghostbusters movies out of pure nostalgia and it was sooooooo bad.
What I am eating : El Coyote is a kitchy spot but the drinks are strong and the shrimp fajita was kinda of bomb.
Preach: The bullshit ass meeting reminded me of something in my romantic relationships - men - be they politicians or the ones in your bed - will lie to you and string your ass along as long as you let them.